Why does abandonment make us feel so cruddy?

A common feeling for people who have abandonment issues is an intense fear of being left or rejected by another, especially someone important in our life.  Abandonment issues are usually the result of unresolved painful feelings associated with:

• experiencing an important loss/death earlier in life
• being raised by parents suffering from addiction
• being adopted
• experiencing divorce (parents or self)
• having been abused or neglected (in childhood or adulthood).

These unresolved feelings will continue to affect many aspects of one’s life.  It can cause issues with relationships of all kinds including spouse/partner, family, friends, co-workers, etc. Not only does it act as an obstacle in getting close to those we know, it can also prevent us from forging new relationships because getting close to another person can feel too risky.  The possibility of getting emotionally hurt by another can be so debilitating for those with abandonment issues that it prevents a person from fully engaging in life and having healthy relationships.

Abandonment issues can be resolved with increased self-awareness and by taking steps towards making change in a positive direction.  Counseling provides an opportunity to identify and heal the painful feelings associated with past events that have created abandonment issues.  In addition, a therapist can help an individual understand how abandonment issues are impacting the actions and behaviors practiced in one’s current daily life.  Depending on how long a person has been experiencing abandonment issues, it can be difficult to self-recognize the ways in which he/she prevents other from getting close because over time it has become routine behavior.  After a better understanding of how abandonment issues affect one’s life, new behaviors can be practiced and implemented allowing for closer relationships.

If you have struggled with abandonment in your life and you’re ready to conquer the emotions behind it, please contact us at 303-353-9226 or jedmonds@brightsidecounseling.net to schedule an appointment with a counselor who specializes in this.